Originally Posted by
K8668B
This has been eating at me for awhile. I must come clean. I can't live with myself if i don't.
Everything I have said in my entire blog has been 100% truth.
Except for one thing- my juice fast. I only lasted for 38 hours, instead of my intended 7 days.
I apologize to everyone on the board. I feel like I have let all of you down, including myself. I was embarrassed about only lasting for 38 hours, so i lied as if i went the whole 7 days.
I am a strong man. Im not a weak dude. I don't quit alot of things in life, but this juice fast is something that had mentally broke me and defeated me. It is not an easy task, like i was told. It is perhaps one of the toughest, if not THE toughest thing I have ever tried. I truly underestimated the fast.
While in the fast, i got to a point where i began to question everything. The point of it all. I was so worried that I was gonna lose alot of muscle weight and get skinny. I started questioning things. And started to fear that this fast would make me even worse, like it would lower my libido baseline, or I would permanently lose the veins in my muscles. Or that it would have a negative effect on my libido/dick. Which all of these thoughts were complete nonsense. And probably the opposite would have been true. I was just so obsessed with keeping my physique and muscle-size, and started thinking illogically.
I also was without a job for 3 months at the time, so when i went into fasting mode, that and other demons entered my head. I was also laid up in my apartment, all by myself, and that got to me too.
Now ive been back in the gym, and have come back physically faster than ever. I am at 95% of my genetic natural potential again already. But I have seen nothing new in libido/sexual/erectile progress. Its been the same as its always been since PFS.
I didnt truly start to understand this whole PFS gut issue until recently. I heard about it before, but never thought about it. But these gut symptoms, or leaky gut issues, i have never had any of them. And I've always been in ridiculously good shape. Good energy levels most of the time, can get through the day no problem, and was always able to respond quite easily to physical training. I truly believe i only got hit with the sexual sides from propecia. The mental sides maybe slightly, but nowhere like the sexual sides.
I am now working a new job that i currently love. I want to re-attempt this juice fast. But i will have to do some of the days while being at work. But I personally would rather be at work and around people while fasting, instead of being alone in my own house, and jobless. I am waiting till my next big check from work comes in, which will be on the 17th. It will be a bigger check than i usually get. I work in a kitchen, so i do move around a little bit. But i dont see why it would be bad to do a juice fast while at work. Would it be bad? I really have no choice.
I am on a normal sleep clock/pattern again these days, too. I have to attempt this again. I cant live with myself knowing that I quit. I have to re-attempt this again, and succeed. I truly hate having PFS. Once again, i apologize for letting everyone down, and myself.