Quote Originally Posted by Mojo View Post
Ordered some Blue Vervain. Very curious about this one.
Also bought some avena sativa and some grapefruit seed extract. Its starting to really dawn on me just how many supplements I have in my kitchen. I stopped caring at some point and just felt like trying out everything.
I’m basically being paid to sit at home right now and do whatever, plus I’m making a fair bit day trading on the side, so money is not a real issue atm.

I’ve got a new girlfriend and had sex again for the first time since I crashed over a year ago. That was definitely a hurdle but I’m happy to report everything is still functioning! I was terrified of the thought of having someone next to me while I’m tossing and turning through insomnia and then getting up in the middle of the night to rigorously mix up some albizia in the kitchen. Luckily she was understanding :-)

My anxiety downswing is unfortunately still active. It’s just always present in the background, causing worry and uneasiness.
I can manage it during the day. But I can’t fight it when I’m asleep. Tend to wake up often to terrors that just ruin my day. Cold showers and breath work at night help to get back to sleep at some point but I’m just so damn tired of waking up and I really really just want to get done with this.

Good news is it seems that brain pressure / fog is now a thing of the past, even during this downswing and lack of sleep. Overall, even though I still don’t sleep enough, it feels like any sleep I get is quality sleep. I pretty much always feel rested to some degree. Happy about this one as previously it often felt like my brain didn’t know how to sleep anymore. As if my entire night was unfulfilling stage 2 zombie sleep.

Going to start my first UH cycle soon. Posted a new thread to log it with some questions beforehand: Question before I start my first UH cycle
I'm curious to know whether you like the blue vervain. It's still one of my favorites that I take at night when I sit and am done with the day.