Originally Posted by
Ratchet
Yeah, I don’t know man. I wouldn’t go down any more rabbit holes, especially the dopamine one. I second what Mineiro said, even though the dude wants to fuck his cousin.
I’d first suggest that you read The Body Keeps the Score. IMO, the emotional blunting/numbness/anhedonia is a combination of the neurophysiological effects of fin, the neurophysiological/psychological effects of the trauma of PFS, & the current environment you find yourself in now. Fin fucks with the brain. Fine, but that’s fixable & you’ve already addressed that. The trauma & your current environment – I bet not.
Did you know that emotional numbness/inability to connect with others/anhedonia are some of the most frequently reported symptoms by veterans upon returning home from deployment? You are no different. You have been living your life in a physical & psychological minefield for a couple of years & some change. You’ve lived like a spartan & adopted a lifestyle that helped you survive & overcome that – you had to.
But that lifestyle doesn’t jive with your new environment. “Normal” people don’t fuckin cycle 21 herbs, workout like a demon, rub prohormones all over their body, take cold showers, etc. You’re a veteran still lacing up his boots to go to the grocery store. Its no wonder why you can’t connect at the dinner table with others who are all eating pizza, laughing, drinking beer. You forgot what that feels like and it’s going to take time to relearn it and reacclimate. I know you’d have no issue right now connecting with your fellow comrades here at SS over some raw vegetables and fucking coconut water.
Also, take stock in which emotions you feel more strongly. You just said you can’t really feel emotions and then proceeded to describe how depressing it is that your girlfriend just broke up with you. All of us have experienced way more negative emotions and few to no positive emotions since PFS. Emotions are reinforced states. You’re going to need to really try hard to feel, foster, and reinforce positive emotions moving forward without being too analytical about it. That is why it is important to practice things like gratitude and surround yourself with positivity. It should be immersive.
So to your question about how to do this naturally? Go out and live your life, naturally. Learn how to properly take a load off. Practice kindness and community. Leave this forum and PFS behind. Give it at least a year. Remember, your health is extremely valuable, but it’s not something to keep locked away in a vault where it can’t be lost again. It’s something to be experienced, enjoyed, & grateful for. Use it and go live your life.
Side note: I also feel close to completely recovered when on nicotine, albeit a much higher dose. I was lipping 60-70mgs in a 24 hour time span for a solid couple of months until I could feel my tolerance building and the effects wearing off. Cold turkey’d it, bodied the withdrawals, lost a lot of progress. It’s not really progress if it’s propped up unsustainably like that though.
Also, I’m sorry to hear about your breakup man. What you said about not being able to love her really resonated with me because I went through a similar relationship. It’s not that you’re incapable of love, it’s just that love had to take a backseat in order to beat this. Nobody except for guys who have gone through PFS will ever understand that. I don’t know if it’s possible to overcome something like PFS & be there for someone emotionally all at the same time. To keep the vet analogy going – veterans are 60% more likely to divorce than non vets. Be kind to yourself.